‘I owe it all to my dad’.   

‘I owe it all to my dad’.                         

I grew up surrounded by people who always opened their hearts and doors to others. Being kind and understanding to everyone you meet in life is something my dad has taught me from a young age. He was an incredibly strong man with the ability to be able to talk to any stranger and child he met. He showed me how to be open, never to judge, and that I should try to be understanding of everyone I meet. “Be open and approachable”, he would always say. Later in life my sister-in-law decided to foster and went on to adopt the children in her care.

Inspired by my family I decided to become a foster carer. At that time, I was working in a special needs school, which gave me some insight in how to look after children with complex needs, and I felt confident in my decision to try fostering.

My Husband and my birth children have embraced the journey with me from the start and have been incredibly supportive ever since. Together we decided to become a Fostering Family.

My birth children have played a massive part in contributing to the whole process in their own way. They have been able to bond well and greet all the children that came into our house with open arms, especially my last placement. The boys would take their foster sibling out into town and include him in all other activities and friendship groups over the seven years he has stayed with us. They called each other brothers. Even after he had moved back home.

Our foster child went back to his birth family. I have been very fortunate with how the relationship with the child's mother has developed over the years. We have a very positive relationship and stayed in touch after I fostered her child. Putting the effort into building the bond can be hard work and comes with its challenges but is hugely rewarding for everyone involved.  The birth mother has expressed her gratitude for the work I have put into looking after her son multiple times. Even now when I meet them in town, they come over to greet me, “Auntie Auntie-they call me”, which is amazing and makes me feel incredibly proud.

It is no surprise that supporting a foster child over multiple years came with challenges.

Nexus Fostering has provided me with support from the very beginning. Nexus 360 is a therapeutically led fostering service and it is their most comprehensive placement type. Due to the child's needs Nexus Fostering provided me with a tailored package to fully support me as a foster carer. I was entitled to: 21days respite; enhanced allowance; daily contact from Nexus Fostering; 24/7 support when needed.; therapeutic support from a qualified clinician; therapeutic care plan; weekly visit from the support worker; access to an Education Liaison Officer, and of course full training.

Next to that, the team at Nexus Fostering Three Counties has been incredibly supportive throughout the whole journey and helped me in every possible way.

In addition, I always had my dad's words to guide me.

“Try to understand why they behave the way they do. What made them think or do things at that moment? If they need to go and be angry, let them. Give them time to calm down and be there for them when they are ready. Imagine how hard it is for them to leave their house and their family; to leave everything they know behind and to start over in a completely unknown family. It must be incredibly difficult. Be kind and patient.”

I believe that everyone could be a foster carer if you are willing to put all your strength into making it work. It's hard work but it gets easier with time and the rewards are just incredible. Being a Nexus Fostering foster carer has been the best job I have done so far in my life because you don’t just get to “work” with the children, but you get to make them feel secure, give them a home, and show them happiness. Being able to show a child in care a healthy family structure and giving them a safe place to call home is what I strive for. If I had to sum up fostering in three words it would be: challenging, demanding, and rewarding.

Are you wanting to be a positive role model in a child life? Get in touch with us to have an informal chat about fostering - Contact Us | Nexus Fostering