Growing Up in a Fostering Family: Sarah’s Story

At Nexus Fostering, we often hear from foster carers about the difference fostering makes to young people. But it also has a lasting impact on the wider family too.

We spoke with Sarah, who grew up in a family that fostered teenagers, to understand what it was like from her perspective. Sarah shared her honest thoughts on the rewards, challenges, and everyday reality of fostering life.

How fostering began in Sarah’s family

Sarah was around 18 when her family decided to start fostering. At the same time, she was leaving for university, which meant she was no longer living at home when fostering began. She explained: “It was exciting. It felt like something new and different for our family.” Her parents worked closely with social workers, and the whole family was involved in discussions before fostering began. 

Adjusting to a new family dynamic

Like many families who foster, there were adjustments to make. Sarah describes herself as naturally quiet and someone who values personal space. She also shared that being autistic meant social situations could sometimes feel overwhelming.

She explained that this actually helped her understand the young people who came to live with them:

“I understood that sometimes people just need space, and that’s okay.”

This helped shape a calm and respectful home environment where the teenagers were not pressured to talk or engage before they were ready. Sarah also recognised an important difference between her and the young people coming into the home:

“They were building trust from the beginning. I already had that with my parents.”

She explained that trust took time, patience, and consistency – and couldn’t be rushed.

Bringing cultures together at home

One of the most important parts of Sarah’s family’s fostering approach was celebrating culture and identity. As a Black family fostering young people who had not previously lived in that environment, they made a conscious effort to help children learn about and feel proud of their heritage. Black History Month was a key time in the household, but learning and sharing happened all year round.

Sarah said:

“We wanted them to understand where they come from and feel proud of it.”

Food played a big role in this. Cooking and sharing meals helped introduce Caribbean culture in a natural, everyday way. Music, storytelling, and conversations about history also helped young people feel more connected to their identity.

Life with teenagers in the home

Although she wasn’t always living at home during when the foster children where there, she remembers visits and time spent together clearly. She described them as: “Fun, intelligent and really independent.”

There were challenges at times, especially as everyone adjusted to living together. But there were also many positive, normal family moments over shared meals, jokes, and everyday conversations that helped build relationships over time. Sarah emphasised that fostering is not about instant relationships. It takes time for young people to feel safe and secure.

The impact fostering had on Sarah

Looking back, Sarah feels strongly that fostering was a positive experience – not only for the young people her family supported, but for her own personal growth too.

She said:

“It showed me how much difference stability and a family home can make. It was rewarding. You feel like you're making a real difference in someone's life."

Sarah also reflected that fostering is similar, in many ways, to raising children – in the sense of care, responsibility, and emotional connection.However, she is clear that fostering is not for everyone. It requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to support young people through difficult experiences. For Sarah, being part of a fostering family shaped her understanding of what home really means.

“I wouldn’t change the experience. It was a big part of my life and it made our family stronger.”

She encourages others to consider fostering if they can offer a stable, caring home:

“If you can offer love, patience and time – it’s worth it.”

Could you foster?

Fostering changes lives – not just for children and young people, but for whole families.

If you’ve ever wondered whether fostering could be right for you, we’d love to help you explore it.

👉 Get in touch with Nexus Fostering today to find out more about becoming a foster carer and the support we offer every step of the way.