From lockdown to lifelong bond. Nicola’s inspiring fostering journey

From lockdown to lifelong bond. Nicola’s inspiring fostering journey

In August 2020, amid the uncertainty of a global pandemic, Nicola from Gloucestershire took her first steps into fostering. Approved virtually due to COVID-19 restrictions, her journey began with respite placements. As the second national lockdown approached, Nicola received a call asking if she could provide care for a five-and-a-half-year-old girl. She said yes. The child arrived at midday the next day, and nearly five years later, she is still with Nicola.

“I remember the exact date,” Nicola recalls, “because she celebrates it every year. She loves to have a party, which is just lovely.”

When the young girl first arrived, she had already spent 18 months in care and was placed under a Nexus 360 placement, a therapeutic fostering placement for children and young people who endured trauma before being placed in care, providing extra support to the foster carer and child. She was deeply affected by trauma, suffering from night terrors, emotional distress, and an understandable lack of trust in adults. Nicola remembers how abrupt the change was:

“She went to school in the morning and by the afternoon, a social worker had dropped her off at my house. She didn’t know us or the environment. And with lockdown in place, it was especially hard, she expressed it all through challenging behaviours.”

But lockdown brought an unexpected silver lining. With no school or distractions, the two spent uninterrupted time together, allowing their bond to form quickly. Nicola’s daughter and her partner, who were living with her at the time, became a vital support network. Walks, trips to the park, and daily routines helped navigate those early, difficult days.

With a background as a teacher, trainer, and Ofsted inspector, Nicola felt well-equipped to handle the emotional and behavioural needs of a young child in care. “Fostering was mentioned at work as lockdown came about”,” she said. “I talked to my daughter, and she said, ‘Go for it.’” After exploring options with two agencies, Nicola chose Nexus Fostering.

“They were so responsive and supportive. From the beginning, they built real relationships and genuinely cared for the children.”

The initial weeks were full of small but significant moments. “We got the spare room ready, a Winnie the Pooh bedspread, crafts set up. Before she arrived, we received a profile about her likes and background. My social worker checked in regularly, and I had psychologist sessions every two weeks. That consistent support helped us reflect and find strategies to manage the behaviours.”

Today, Nicola's young girl has transitioned to a Care Plus package, reflecting her increased stability. “She’s doing well in school, can regulate her emotions, and we have such a deep understanding of one another now. She trusts adults, which is huge.”

Nicola fondly remembers a recent milestone: “I was able to go to London for the weekend, and she stayed with my older daughter without a worry. She said goodbye happily. That level of trust and independence was something we could never have imagined early on.”

The transformation is undeniable. From struggling with anxiety and isolation to becoming a confident reader, writer, and friend, the young girl’s progress has been remarkable.

“She’s even joined a band and tried kickboxing, ballet, and gymnastics,” Nicola beams. “Her confidence is blooming. My social worker with Nexus, Lucy, recently came to watch her at her school play in the band.”

Beyond her immediate household, Nicola found a sense of community among fellow foster carers. “A small group of us who attended Circle of Security Training through Nexus meet regularly and text each other. It helps knowing others are going through the same things.”

Support from Nexus has been essential:

“They’ve gone above and beyond, from accompanying us to medical appointments to offering exceptional training, including impactful care leaver sessions. Our support worker even came to the dentist and doctor with us, which helped so much.”

Despite the challenges, fostering has opened doors to joy and adventure. “We spent time in Devon and Cornwall, visited her family in Somerset, and even travelled to Turkey and France. That was her first time abroad, she loved the pool and even made a friend on holiday who she still talks to.”

For Nicola, fostering is a calling. “It’s incredibly rewarding to witness the transformation, from a frightened child to someone who is thriving. My advice? Be open-minded. Remember that children in care are living in a constant state of fight-or-flight. What you see is just the tip of the iceberg.”

She adds a powerful reminder: “You won’t always get it right. Be kind to yourself. Just showing up consistently and being there is what matters most. You’re doing an amazing job.”

If Nicola’s story has inspired you, and you feel ready to make a life-changing difference, consider starting your fostering journey today with Nexus Fostering.