How old were you when you were placed with Nexus carers?
I was 5 years old when I was placed with my very first fosters carers.
How long were you placed with your foster carers?
When I was placed into foster care I was placed 5 of my siblings (I was one of 12). We went into a foster home together, until my first carers decided it was a little too much having all 5 of us together considering they already had 2 foster children in their care, 7 is a little too much, right?
3 of my siblings stayed with my first placement, and me and my other sister moved to another placement. Me and my sister lived with Karen and Paul (Nexus foster carers) for 5 1/2 years.
Best years of my life. I didn’t say it when I was younger but now I’m older, I just can’t thank them enough for all they did for us.
What was it like being placed and growing up with them?
Even though I had been being neglected, mistreated, and physically and mentally hurt, at the age of 5 I just didn’t understand why I was taken from my mummy and daddy.
I fought my carers, hit them, spat at them, hurt them physically and emotionally. I was an extremely angry little girl who just wanted her mummy and daddy but didn’t understand why I couldn’t be with them. Before being placed in care, I had no manners, no self-awareness, no personal hygiene, no routine, no love, no clean clothes, I was hit for messing the bed, locked in my room and starved for days.
Love is a massive thing to give your child/ children and that’s what they need the most!
My carers put up with so much abuse from me as a child. I suffered with bad anger problems, until things really changed.
As a foster child it was extremely hard living in a stranger’s home, but my foster carer’s love for me was so strong I clicked with them straight away.
I’d never felt so wanted in all my life.
They made me feel loved, they taught me manners, they taught me what love was, they taught me personal hygiene, they showed me not to be scared when I messed the bed when I had night terrors, they bought me toys, new clothes and took me on family days out. They bought me my first cuddly bear, my first dolly- all things little girls would like! They made sure I had clean clothes on my back, fed me, they treated me like their own child and most of all loved me like their own.
Karen was my mum, Paul was my dad. It felt strange at first, but I loved it.
Do you still have a relationship with them?
I was in a few placements after Karen and Paul, and I went through a rough patch when I received my files when I was 18. I unexpectedly fell pregnant with by my boyfriend of 5 years, and we decided to tie the knot.
In February 2018 after losing contact in 2013 with Karen and Paul I finally plucked up the courage to message Karen on Facebook- we talk regularly through messages. They have even been round to my little home for dinner!
Karen and Paul came to my wedding, too. It was lovely for them to see me get married, I never thought I’d see the moment of me getting married considering the life I had but, life is what you make it.
You chose the path you want to walk down, I couldn’t have done it without Karen and Paul being tough on me when I was younger but you know what, it’s made me who I am today and I really cannot thank them enough.
Seeing Karen and Paul again after losing contact for so long was lovely as we could talk about the old times we had together. I’m looking forward to seeing Karen and Paul again and keeping in regular contact. I often send them photos of my little boy, it’s over whelming for me to tell them what i’ve been doing with my life!
If you have always wanted to be a foster carer, Nexus Fostering could be the agency to support you in your dream. Why not find your local team, or call us on 0800 389 0143.